Jailbait Zombie by Mario Acevedo

Teen Fiction Pick

(A Note to Parents: If you're looking for a book for your young preteen/early teen you might want to consider that Mr. Acevedo's other Felix Gomez character titles include The Nymphos of Rocky Flats and X-Rated Bloodsuckers.)

   I like a vampire/zombie/supernatural thriller as much as the next person, unless the next person really liked Jailbait Zombie. Then, not so much. Some of it was that I expect vampires to be a little more impervious to pain; running on bare feet shouldn't hurt so much if you're a vampire.
   The rest of it was simply the writing. There was way, way, way too much description and not enough just getting to the point already!! Did that sound a little emphatic and frustrated? That's okay, because, "Whew!" I think I needed to get that off my chest.
   (A little more calmly said.) I didn't find the characters very personable (they were supposed to be), I found the antagonist ridiculously caricatured (he was not supposed to be) and the rest was simply flat. I would say insipid, but the use of vocabulary might actually elevate the story.
   One other thing. Felix (the main character) is in his twenties, but comes across as a teenager. I can't put my finger on why he does, it's just something about him. I would have preferred a twenty-something who seemed like a twenty-something or a teenager who seemed like a teenager. Just a thought.

  
Favorite Quotes:

"If wisdom comes from making stupid mistakes, then someday I'm going to be a genius."

"I sipped the warm brew and it comforted me like a hug from a chubby hooker."

"Her right eyelid blinked repeatedly, semaphoring her anxiety."


Overall Opinion:

Eh.


Rating:

On a scale of Take It or Leave It, I would Leave It.

Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams

   Written with a charming disregard for anything approaching pithy speech, Mostly Harmless is the fifth book in the Hitchhiker's Trilogy, but the first and only book in the series that I found on the shelf. Having a teenager I have seen the "Hitchhiker" movie (several times), howsomever it has been several years leaving me with just the memory of its quirkiness.
   Mostly Harmless is definitely quirky. Mr. Adams employs the longest, most circular way to say the shortest things without managing to drone. His writing is enchanting which is funny in that his story is in no way a fairy tale. He is also able to tell a fifth story in a series without having to return to the previous four. This is a stand alone book, though I think it would be even better had I read the first four before it.
   To number four. Arthur Dent is traveling, rather lacklusterly (not sure if I can say that with an -ly, but since I just did, I guess I can) through the universe looking for something like home. Ford Prefect is battling Infinidum, the new corporate owners of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Trillian pops up to bestow Arthur with responsibility.
   I think that was it in a nutshell. The nut took much longer to write and was much more amusing to read. Try it yourself (reading the book, not writing the review) and let me know what you think (in the comments as a short review).  :)


Favorite Quotes:

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"The last thing he wanted after a hellish night like this one was some blasted day coming along and barging about the place."


Overall Opinion:

I haven't spent a more pleasant time taking forever to get to the point of a sentence.


Rating:

If there was a rating system for increasingly wordy books with ever expanding sentences that went in everlastingly magnified circles then the rating would exponentially mount in number until the person saying it would run out of breath in a steadily decreasing gasp so that the person patiently, or impatiently as the case may be, would only hear an almost inaudible "hhhhh".